MCGRUBER!!!!

Anyone out there watch Saturday Night Live?? One of Teague's fave sketches is "McGruber" which is a MacGuyver ripoff. The theme song includes the lyrics, "Making life saving inventions out of household materials...." Anyway, I had to pull a little McGruber action myself last night.

Scenario (7:45pm Wednesday):

-Dylan in Exersaucer

-Maddox on sofa watching "Teletubbies - On Demand"

-peanut butter brownies for Maddox's end of school year BBQ in the oven with 15 minutes left to bake

-Teague in Colorado on a work trip

As the boys were occupied (read: quiet), I decide to head to the garage to organize some outgrown infant clothes for donation to Maddox's school and my maternity clothes for Goodwill. I'm bagging the items and writing down everything for our tax records. I'm pretty pleased with myself for getting this task done today and getting them out of the garage so we can continue to reduce the messes that have accumulated. I need another shopping bag so I head to the garage door to the house. It's locked. Crap. Although it has a childproof cover on the doorknob (so far successful from Maddox getting out), there is a hole in order to un/lock as needed. Unfortunately, Maddox can un/lock the door and had apparently done so when I first headed out and he tried to follow me. I start yelling at him through the door to come and unlock it. He precedes to come to the door and yell things back, knock in response to my knocking and turn the knob back and forth. He's not getting it. OK, do not panic. Yes, the oven is still on and the brownies are about to burn, but you can do this. Luckily I had my cell phone in my pocket. I call my in-laws (down the street 10 blocks) & ask that they bring a spare key if they have one, which I'm fairly certain they do. They're on the computer. I leave a message. I head to the backyard in search of the spare key. I doubt it will be helpful as the chain locks are both on the backyard door and the front door. I'm not sure if the key we hid 6 years ago is in the same place. I call Teague's cell to confirm, but I talked to him 30 minutes ago and he was on his way to a client dinner. The call drops and doesn't even attempt to go through. What the hell? This same situation happened to Teague once and he said my arm might be small enough to get through the opening and unlock the chain. However, with the door locked, I can't squeeze through anything. I find the key. Yes! Unfortunately, we changed out our locks last summer and this is the old key. Double crap. I leave another message to the in-laws letting them know if they need to get hold of me I do have my cell phone. Still on the computer. I ask for any advice they may have and let them know the oven is on. Hello---Maddox can unlock the deadbolt locks! That's why we have the chains! I start banging at the front door. I can't see him at the front door or the garage door. I ring the doorbell. I knock and keep yelling. I'm pretty happy that the neighborhood is quiet so that everyone can witness my embarrassing situation.....calling for my 2 year old to unlock the door. I still don't see him. I run to the backyard (are the brownies burning???) and see Maddox completely zoned in on Teletubbies. Seriously?? I knock on the door several times to break the trance. He smiles and runs over. He unlocks the door and I am able to stick my arm through. I'm trying my hardest to unlock this chain, but my arm is not skinny enough. Screw it, I'm done trying. I tell Maddox to step back. After the 2nd side push kick, the door is free. McGruber!!! Brownies still have 2 minutes on the clock. Leave a final message for in-laws letting them know all is well. Still feeling pretty good about handling the situation all by myself. Maybe my Tuesday night Hip Hop class is working.....buns of steel!!! No applause necessary. My only advice request: how do I tell Teague that we need to replace the chain?